Healing Words

Reli(e)ving me

Like floating leaves
Bereft of trees
My being rises and falls
I survive
As great pain
hurts me again

My assaulters lurk near
Some of them are dear
In myself I'm keeping faith
Amidst doubt and fear

Silently I cry
As words go dry
I often want to fly
For a while
Or forever
Will I, can I
Must I?

While walking in a neighbourhood park one evening and spotting falling leaves, I recalled my sexual assaulter who lived nearby. I typed out these words a few days later, editing it over time. 🍃 🍂

Yuck!

This word came to mind
When I recalled
How close I came
To being fucked
By the beast on a motorbike
And the blokes on a scooter
In the dark lanes of Delhi
They followed me
As far as they could
Terrible, unforgettable

The drunkard in London
Who fell on my breast
And put my strength
To the ultimate test
The morons in Mysore
Who pinched and squeezed
Our buttocks and bottoms
Until our attayya and mamayya
Guarded us behind
Horrible, memorable?

The priest in Mantralayam
The colleague in Madras
Boys in Bangalore
Indian men on Sydney's streets
Youth in New York's subway

Thoughts that won't fade away
Fears that are here to stay
Friends be brave, I pray
What else can I say?

(Went down my molestation memory lane - from my pre-teens to my thirties in this poem)

A Promise

For the pain you bore
Silently we weep
For the clothes they tore
When watch we didn't keep

Dear beloved, friend, sibling

When your skin broke
You perhaps did choke
When your body hurt
Under your shirt, pant or skirt
You probably cried and cried
Until you died

Dear companion, comrade, co-traveller
We won't be silent
When they’re violent
We'll rise hand in hand
Until they understand
Girls, Women and Queers

(Composed this poem after reading about relentless sexual assaults and gendered violence on Adivasi girls and women in Chattisgarh by male police personnel in a “Women against state repression and sexual violence” group that I am part of, since 2011)

Ode to the feminine

You battle torture, conquer pain
And eclipse abuse again and again
O lady, I salute thee
Whoever and wherever you maybe

Thou art not a mere survivor
But a winner
You need no medal, trophy or award
Your life is humanity's greatest reward

(I dedicate this specifically to all persons who believe that they have femininity within them)

Edited by Christianez Ratna Kiruba

Image by Janvi Bokoliya