I would like to congratulate McDonald&#39;s &amp; the Central Food Technological Research Institute (CFTRI) for their <a href="https://www.thehindu.com/news/national/karnataka/csir-cftri-mcdonalds-india-launch-nutri-rich-multi-millet-bun/article68609070.ece">new partnership</a> to develop new nutritional products. My professional opinion, as a multinational McDonald&rsquo;s burger eater is that this is a landmark partnership that will help India reach the top.&nbsp;

For too long, India and Indians suffered from limited food. But no more. McDonald&#39;s will make sure that urban Indians are broken free from the shackles of undernutrition. All urban Indians deserve to be obese and McDonald&#39;s will ensure, now in a scientific research-based way - thanks to CFTRI that that goal is achieved.&nbsp;

McDonald&#39;s has a track record of decades for bettering the nutrition around the world. Through competitive capitalism, McDonald&#39;s accelerated obesity in the US by several hundred folds in the last three decades. McDonald&#39;s brought obesity to the doors of another big LMIC - Brazil. Indians need to ask themselves, why should we be left behind in the race toward obesity? We deserve an equal chance to be obese as an average American.&nbsp;

The best thing is that Indians, unlike Americans, won&#39;t suffer from impure obesity. You see, McDonald&#39;s in the US and other places predominantly sell happy meals packed with tons and tons of different meats. Deep fried, but meat- beef, chicken, pork, eggs, etc. These unhealthily prepared meats give protein, vitamins, etc. So, the obesity that you get isn&#39;t pure. It has some inadvertent nutrition. But in India, McDonald&#39;s are largely vegetarian with McAloo, Maharaja Aloo, etc with maybe a li&rsquo;l bit of chicken &amp; eggs. But mostly just deep fried starch. That is pure obesity.&nbsp;&nbsp;

I&#39;m aware that in all these excellent plans that will ensure that urban India becomes an obesity capital of the world by 2047, there&#39;s one thorn. It looks like CFTRI might create hurdles through their research. That 22% millet content in the bun is a once in a lifetime breakthrough in nutrition science. I&#39;m certain that there is a Nobel Prize coming CFTRI&#39;s way for achieving that number.

Those alarmist ivory tower academic activist types, who are against business growth, will tell you that this screams conflict of interest. However, do not be concerned! Centuries have shown that the funder is the husband &amp; research organization is the wife in all such relationships. A good wife must sit at her husband&#39;s feet, enjoy his kicks, and obey him. In this partnership, McDonald&#39;s will fund CFTRI&#39;s research. McDonald&#39;s will be the wise &amp; firm husband and suffer the burden of duty of kicking the wife when needed.&nbsp;

All and all, a great day for a great country by the courtesy of a great company. May many more such companies come to make India great. After all, we have a long and strong past and present of bending backwards to let companies run the country.

<hr />
Edited by Parth Sharma.&nbsp;(This is a satire)

Image by Janvi Bokoliya.

McDonald's and the Government of India's Central Food Technological Research Institute partner to add(ress) malnutrition.

McDonald’s Gives India Hope: Malnutrition Bye Bye

I&#39;m writing on behalf of the common global citizenry. I&#39;m sick and tired of you medical people having opinions on things that are not medicine. Why do you feel the need to tell the public, the government, or anyone else what they should or shouldn&#39;t do? To not appear just an angry guy with an agenda to fight, let me give some specific examples.&nbsp;

Some of you, though you have never studied it, seem to think that homeopathy is garbage. The likes of you even go ahead to call all alternative medicine as pseudoscience. As a regular consumer of homeopathic medicines, let me tell you - you are wrong. I have taken two pills daily with a glass of milk for bone strength &amp; they work. My bones are better than anyone my age that I know. I am the living conclusive proof that homeopathy works.&nbsp;

There is another group among you that loves to go on and on about things like caste and gender. Why do these matter? Why don&#39;t you focus on medicine? Use your voice for that. Why do all this divisive politics about whether there are enough women doctors or Dalit doctors? You keep talking about women&#39;s health. But our country does so much for our mothers&#39; health. We have programs and curricula that have &quot;maternal&quot; in their name. Isn&#39;t that enough for you?! Are you trying to say that there&#39;s anything more to a woman&#39;s life beyond being a mother? Also, all this talk about gender violence, marital rape, and other things - it&#39;s fine but if you&#39;re being honest, you will agree that this is not medicine. Let the courts deal with that stuff. You don&#39;t need to have an opinion on it as a doctor just because someone cried to you about it in your clinic!&nbsp;

You folks are even worse when it comes to caste. What has caste got to do anything with medicine? Common sense will tell you that it&#39;s all agenda. A ridiculous thing that I recently read from one of you was that there should be a better&nbsp; representation of SC/ST people in medicine. Why target SC/ST specifically? Isn&#39;t that reverse caste discrimination?? Why not just say that meritorious people should be better represented in medicine? Are you trying to say that meritorious people are randomly present across castes and not clustered only in the upper castes? Sorry, but our ancient time tested shastras don&#39;t support your &quot;opinion&quot;.&nbsp;

Finally, I&#39;m done with those among you talking about what the government should and shouldn&#39;t do for people&#39;s health. Health is a personal matter. Why is the government responsible for anything? If I smoke it or take drugs that&#39;s my personal choice. What can the government do? It&#39;s as if you&#39;re trying to say that somehow making sure that people don&#39;t give into harmful things is a right that the government has to protect. Also, what will happen if the government spends more money on health? Anyway, I don&#39;t go to government hospitals. Nor does anyone that I know go there. Most people that I know have insurance and go to the good private hospitals. So, why do you want the government to spend money on things that no one uses?&nbsp;

People like you take advantage of their degrees and pedigree to misdirect &amp; misinform society. It&#39;s like you think that medicine is not limited to handing out prescriptions or doing operations but involves all these other things like evidence across disciplines, diversity, rights blah blah blah. Can you please stop talking about these and stick to being a doctor?&nbsp;

Edited by Parth Sharma.&nbsp;(For those who didn&#39;t get it- this is a satire).

Image by<a href="https://unsplash.com/@kwook?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash"> Kristine Wook</a> on<a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/woman-in-blue-scrub-suit-wearing-white-mask-bNXOexRUDBQ?utm_content=creditCopyText&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=unsplash"> Unsplash</a>.

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Dear doctors, please do your job and stop being influenced by Virchow.

Go be a doctor!

Kaanda Kavi is a social media influencer, tiktoker, toktiker, twitterer, twatterer with millions of followers and billions of subscribers.

Kaanda Kavi is a social media influencer, tiktoker, toktiker, twitterer, twatterer with millions of followers and billions of subscribers.

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Kaanda Kavi

Kaanda Kavi

McDonald’s Gives India Hope: Malnutrition Bye Bye

Go be a doctor!

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