Every family, at some point, faces the loss of a loved one. Yet, the way that final chapter unfolds can look very different. For some, it is filled with hospital visits, invasive procedures, and an unrelenting search for a cure, even when none is possible. For others, it is guided by honesty, compassion, and care, allowing comfort, dignity, and peace to take the place of fear.

The two stories that follow are about a couple of the same generation, deeply loved, yet who passed in very different ways. Their journeys reveal not only the contrast between aggressive medical care and palliative care but also why awareness and acceptance of palliative care are so essential for families, patients, and our society.

Holding On: A Family’s Struggle With Hope and Loss

She was 85, from Warangal, living with high blood pressure that had been controlled with medication for nearly two decades. One day, she developed sudden breathlessness and chest pain, which she received prompt attention for, and her medicines were adjusted. A few weeks later, she suffered an allergic reaction that required hospitalization. After a month in the hospital, she was discharged with the advice to rest and recover at home.

Just two weeks later, she fell ill again and developed swelling throughout her body. This time, when she was taken back, the doctors told the family that her liver was failing and nothing more could be done. But the family asked for her to be admitted and treated anyway, hoping she might get better. They said,
“We wanted to make sure she had every possible chance.”

She stayed in the hospital for another month. Almost every day, the doctors reminded the family that treatment could not cure her and would only prolong her suffering. Still, they could not accept it. “We just want to keep trying,” they said.

Her condition grew steadily worse. She became bedridden, unable to eat without a feeding tube, and dependent on nurses for the simplest of needs. Tubes and lines connected her to machines to manage her failing liver and kidneys, but her body swelled with fluid, and her organs continued to fail. Repeated courses of strong antibiotics were given, but her infections persisted, and her breathing worsened.

She was often in pain, restless, and disoriented. She would cough continuously throughout the day and had a rash covering her whole body. She was rarely conscious, and when she did speak, she spoke as if she were living in the past. Sometimes she did not recognize the people around her at all. She kept asking, “It’s hard... what did the doctors say? When will I get better? When can I go back home?”

It became very difficult for visitors to see her condition or talk to her as it worsened. During her last days, people often kept their distance because of her persistent coughing and rash.

But the family continued to hope and believe she could recover. She struggled for another month in the hospital before she was finally discharged. She passed away from cardiac arrest within two days of withdrawal of care.

The family struggled deeply to come to terms with her death and held onto the loss for many months, unable to let go. They regretted, “We should have gotten her admitted earlier. We should have changed hospitals.”

Letting Go With Love: Embracing Life’s Final Chapter

He was 93 when he was diagnosed with late-stage cancer. It went unnoticed for a long time, as his only complaints were gradual weight loss and a persistent cough, which were brushed off until they became serious. Multiple doctors were consulted, and several hospitals were visited across cities, but all said the same thing: it had progressed too much, and nothing more could be done.

The doctors explained, “At his age, any further treatment will offer very little hope, and it will be extremely difficult for him to endure. In fact, it may do more harm than good.”

When modern medicine could offer no cure, the family turned to Ayurveda, hoping it might prolong his life. But it did not alter the outcome. They said, “Let’s try. Even if it doesn’t cure him, at least it might prolong his life.”

One hospital, however, took a different approach. They sat down with the patient and his family, explained the extent of his illness, showed the X-rays, and discussed what to expect over the next few weeks. They explained that even the most intensive treatments would not help and would only cause profound weakness, pain, and discomfort. The patient’s views and concerns were included in the discussion.

The idea of palliative care was then introduced. The plan of care and affordable options were discussed, with an emphasis on spending his last days in the comfort of his home, surrounded by family. An experienced care provider was arranged for home care, and detailed instructions were given to the family.

He lived peacefully for a month after that before he passed away.

He and his family had sufficient time to accept his impending death. He told his sons, “I know my time is near, and I am thankful for everything you have done for me. When the time comes, I will go in peace.”

There were no more unnecessary hospital visits. He remained at home, cared for by a nurse, spending time laughing and talking with family. He thanked his partner, blessed his children and grandchildren, said his goodbyes, and remained steadfast in his faith until he passed away peacefully one morning.

The family had time to prepare and accept his passing. They said, “Dad knew it was coming. He was ready, and he went peacefully. We also had time to prepare. Although it’s still difficult, that made it a little easier.”

Why Palliative Care and Advance Care Planning Matter

These two journeys show how differently the end of life can unfold. One was marked by invasive interventions, pain, and prolonged suffering, while the other was guided with dignity, peace, and time for goodbyes. Both were born out of love, but only one was supported by the understanding of palliative care.

Families, when informed and supported, can accept and prepare rather than hold on in despair. Patients, when given the chance, can spend their last days in the warmth of their homes, surrounded by love. 

Palliative care is not only about the final days; it addresses the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual suffering associated with life-limiting illnesses at any stage. It gives back the opportunity to live meaningfully, to hold hands, to say thank you, to laugh, to pray, to forgive, and to say goodbye with grace. It is a gift of dignity for the one departing and comfort for those who remain.

Yet, awareness of palliative care remains low. Many still believe it is only for the dying or that it means giving up hope. In reality, palliative care works alongside treatment, easing pain and anxiety, supporting families, and allowing patients to focus on what matters most. It does not hasten death, but enhances life. More conversations, education, and services are needed so that no family has to endure unnecessary suffering at the end of life.

These stories also remind us that love alone is not enough. When emotions run high, decisions can become overwhelming, and fear may lead us toward treatments that cause more harm than help. This is why planning ahead is essential. Living wills, Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders, and medical directives allow us to communicate our wishes long before a crisis. They open the door to calm, honest discussions with those we love. Knowing a loved one’s preferences brings peace instead of guilt, and ensures that the final chapter is written with clarity, not confusion.

Planning ahead is not surrender. Choosing palliative care is not giving up. It is choosing comfort, choosing how we live, how we say goodbye, and how we allow our family to heal. It means avoiding suffering, not only for ourselves but for those we love. It gives everyone the gift of time to prepare their hearts and to let love, not fear, guide the end.

Edited by Parth Sharma
Image by Gayatri