What Not To Say To Mothers Breastfeeding Their Babies

This 2024, in August, we again observe the World Breastfeeding Week.

This year’s theme is ‘Closing the gap: Breastfeeding support for all’

But most mothers who need support, seem to hit a wall.

To add to their difficult days, they receive unsolicited advice.

With no one to lend an understanding ear to their silent cries.

 

Here is a ready reckoner, I would like the unsolicited advisors to use.
What not to say to mothers breastfeeding their babies, how not to add to their blues. 

“Ah, your baby is crying, your milk supply must have gone dry!
You must be cheerful as a new mother. Why in the world would you cry!”

Babies cry when they are hot, cold, scared, lonely, or sad,
Always attributing it to ‘insufficient breast milk’ is just plain bad.

“You ate what was forbidden and breastfed your baby
Now he is gassy coz’ you are a careless lady”

Drastic taboos around diet are not required for the mother
For her, these unnecessary restrictions are such a bother!

“Your baby is taking feeds way too often,
Why don’t you formula-bottle-feed her, that is now quite common.”

The frequency and duration of feeds vary with every baby and mother pair
If they are both comfortable then there is no other care.

“You will now have to stop breastfeeding as you rejoin the office,
If you don’t, to your work, you cannot do justice”

Adequate paid maternity leave and flexible work policies need to be implemented,
So that mothers and babies do not feel tormented!

“You should breastfeed your baby indoors,
And cover yourself up, as people can see you through those glass doors.”

Breastfeeding in public must not be shameful,
Body language and glances around the mother should never be disdainful.

“Hunger during Breastfeeding, must have been at an all-time high,
Your resulting disagreeable weight gain makes us all sigh!”

Body-image issues around weight gain postpartum add to a mother’s stress
Comments on her weight, may make her feel like she is not enough, or that she is ‘less.’ 

“Breastfeeding is a natural process, why do you complain 
Everybody does it, so there is not much to explain!”

Breast engorgement, swelling, sore nipples, and pain during every feed
At such times, utmost support does a mother need. 

“Sleep when the baby sleeps, then you will be just fine
This phase will get over soon, so there is no need to whine.”

It takes almost two years for a woman to feel like herself again after childbirth
Sleeplessness takes a huge toll on her health, for her woes, there is no dearth.

“Your baby is two years old, and you are still breastfeeding him?
You should stop, this is so embarrassing!”

Breastfeeding can continue beyond the age of two if the mother and child want it that way
No one else, in this regard, has any say!

This list can go on, but I will stop now. 
Healthcare providers, counsellors, and family, need to learn all the breastfeeding know-how. 

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Image by Gayatri Sharma