I was hoping for finding the truth of life,
Seeking some direction in path of light,
To learn human body, mind and spirit,
Through teachers and books of library,
I was expecting to know ethics of life,
Finding way of living and purpose of life,
But very soon I realized,
It was a fairy world which I imagined,
Who have time to talk on ethics,
Focus on theory and go clinics,
Kindness, empathy, compassion doesn't exist in this world, build your masculinity, never get emotionally involved, Beware of getting friendly with patients and their relative, You will increase their expectations and situation can become sensitive,
Now they don’t treat us like gods and can be very dangerous,
They become sick due to their negligence and put all blame on us,
In addition to caste-based discrimination existing here, Some Unique and intellectual division is there, Hierarchy of clinical, Para-clinical and Non-clinical practitioners,
Community medicine was like group of untouchables, Criteria for choosing specialties was so much fun, Only alpha males can survive ortho or being a surgeon, If you want to be ultra-rich very quickly,
Choose dermat or radiology,
You are a female, no need to think,
Child producing industry wont stop, simply choose OBG, And some relationship based selection,
Girlfriend gynae, boyfriend paediatrician,
Altogether different pedagogy of work ethics and values, Principles being followed are of submission and slavery, If you are an intern or junior resident,
Forget about your rights and be silent,
Forget your sleep, health, comfort and mental peace, If you want to develop clinical acumen, sharpness and skills,
There is no alternative of discipline and hard work my dear children,
Patriarchy, hierarchy and violence are your inheritance…
With these values, beliefs and so called ethics, I was confused, uncomfortable to start my career, Wanting to explore in some different direction, I kicked off my career in development sector,
Believing that NGOs/CSOs are a sacred space, Whatever I will do, will do in a good faith,
Gradually this sacred bubble got busted,
Leaving me again confused and more frustrated, This time there were some additional dimensions, Interaction of government, CSOs and health-care providers, Yes, dont get surprised that I did not mention patients and community,
Because they never were in anyones list of priority, If you have to eliminate any problem or any disease, Do some data manipulation and they will cease to exist, Delhi says state is health subject,
State says district system is corrupt,
District says community does not co-operate and Community really feels they are at fault,
Any deaths in hospital, nurses are responsible, Any deaths in outreach, ASHA is responsible, Centre sends some targets and instructions,
Following blindly state forms a commission,
An experienced bureaucrat heads this commission, Call some other bureaucrats and development partners, All given responsibility to complete their target numbers, Everyone is obliged to complete this sacred mission, These acts of violence go on and on,
Either everyone is innocent or all are involved…
I am equally responsible in this chain of violence, Acknowledging this lightens my conscience,
But we will have to go beyond acknowledgment, Cracking this Morse code in very common language, No doubt, there are many proven scientific approaches, Like System thinking, design thinking and stakeholders engagements,
But what I reflected and I could understand,
Separate solution for violence in healthcare will be difficult to attain,
Till the time violence in us, our homes and our society exists,
Its impossible to eliminate violence from our healthcare domain,
Till we keep discriminating in name of caste, gender, power and religion,
Same practices will be reflected in our healthcare system, Till we are not sensitive to existence of each component of our universe,
Its difficult to erase violence from our minds and hearts, How can we become sensitive to co-existence with our universe?
